Eight Days of Incarceration

Never Give In

Since my last post I spent 8 days of incarceration in the hospital for chronic daily headaches and dizzy spells. Every neurologist was on call at the hospital but my neurologist who is of course familiar with my two brain conditions. One neurologist actually said he didn’t see anything neurologically wrong with me. He was a joke. After 6 days in Baptist Hospital they decided they weren’t going to touch me to do a spinal tap to check my spinal fluid pressure because I had my brain surgery at Mayo. Next thing I know I’m on my way to Mayo by ambulance to see my neurosurgeon and the neurology team. They sent me to see an eye specialist to have my eye pressure checked and my optic nerve had a little swelling. My pseudo tumor cerebri condition can lead to blindness if a certain amount of swelling occurs at the optic nerve. The question then became whether or not to do the spinal tap. My neurosurgeon said doing the procedure was like opening up pandora’s box and he wanted to take a conservative approach. The doctor upped my dosage of medication for this condition but I’m still having the headaches. This week I will return to Mayo for a visual field test, labs and a brain MRI to see if there is anything structurally wrong. So once again I’m at battle with my brain.

Being in the hospital no matter how nice it is or how good the nurses and doctors are is just not fun. It’s like being in jail only wearing a hospital gown instead of a jumpsuit. Bed alarms, so I can’t even put my feet on the ground or go to the restroom without calling for a nurse. Institutional meals are never very tasty. On the plus side you don’t have to wear make up, do your hair, or shave your legs. However, after 8 days it really makes you look like you’ve just let yourself go. Bushy eyebrows, messy hair and hairy legs that need a weed eater to whack the hair off.

Why am I not one of those people that just gets a seasonal cold that I could pass on to someone else?  I’m always the 1 in 2 million to get the strangest conditions and symptoms that most people have never even heard of. I get illnesses that I can not give away. It is obviously part of God’s plan for me. I suppose it is his way of keeping me humble and closer to Him. I’m grateful to have the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life and to be a Latter- day Saint which has given me the foundation I need to face life’s trials. I am fortunate to have been blessed with a positive attitude and outlook on life no matter how good or terrible I feel. I’ve learned to trust in the Lord always. I hope that I can be a help to others that struggle with their health trials and the issues that come with them. I’ve had to learn how important it is to turn to my Heavenly Father each and every day to get through my life and conquer my daily health trials. You should never give up or give in no matter how much despair you are in. Heavenly Father is always there to help us pull through.

Vacation and Small Miracles

Paris

Time has been flying by this summer so I’m posting this a little later than I had planned on. Life was pretty hectic with doctor appointments and trying to get off on my vacation to Paris and London. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to make my trip because of my severe headaches. The neurologist sent me to the neurosurgeon to see about having a shunt placed on my brain. The neurosurgeon wanted to run his own tests to rule out the possibility of some other causes. It turns out everything is related to my lupus and he ordered another lumbar puncture and had my spinal fluid drained pretty low. So for now I’m going to live with the pseudo tumor cerebri condition and have lumbar punctures as needed. I can get by without the shunt unless the condition starts effecting my eyes and optical nerve.

Just as I got the headaches under control then I caught bronchitis and lost my voice 2 weeks before vacation but with antibiotics and prayer it cleared up and I was on the plane headed for Paris with my friend Mary Alice before I knew it.

Paris did not disappoint. I had dreamed of going there since I was about 12 years old. Seeing the Eiffel Tower in person was amazing and going up to the top of it was even more amazing and breathtaking. I loved everything about this city and wished I had more time to spend there. Our time went by so fast and before we knew it we were off to London. It was nice to hear everyone speak English again. London was huge and like Paris full of things to see and do and so much history and culture. We had a fabulous time here and as with Paris not enough time to do everything.

Kensington Palace

Vacation was a trip of a lifetime. What an amazing opportunity it was to experience these cities and their culture. My doctor’s advised against it because of my health but I never had a bad feeling about it and always felt I could do it. Well, I did do it and without any trips to the hospital, but I know it was because I had so many people praying for me. Once again I was on the receiving end of experiencing some of God’s small miracles in my daily life. There’s nothing greater than the power of prayer and having faith in my Savior.

Father’s Day

Jim & Kim Convertible

I was blessed to come to this earthly life with two great parents God picked especially for me. With it being Father’s Day I think of my daddy for several reasons and his hands are one of those reasons. He was in the military and learned to work with his hands in an office capacity which was a skill that kept him gainfully employed and always able to provide for his family. Not only did my dad work but he served in the LDS church often traveling and not able to sit with his family. Growing up as busy as he was he was he was a very hands on father with school, church, activities and whatever we had going on. We had story time with back and tummy rubs with his gentle and loving hands. As we grew up and got into mischief we were punished and guided by stronger, firmer, but still loving hands.

I have always had a special admiration for my daddy because he lost both of his parents to cancer while he was just a young father still in his 20’s. I can’t imagine going through so much of my life without either one of my parents. I’m grown and I still need my father and my mother. God blessed my daddy with the strength he has always needed and a strong supportive wife which he has always shown great love and respect for.

Many dad’s get involved with their own hobbies but he spent his time with us and taking family vacations together. He’s laid back and doesn’t let things stress him out, well other than my mama? 🙂 Just kidding. He’s perfectly happy eating and taking a 4 hour Sunday afternoon nap or getting in the car and doing a million errands with the radio playing his “oldies.”

My dad has always been a wonderful example of strength, kindness, being faithful in all he does. He has always been there for love and support and there to keep us in line which was no easy job. He’s always served his Father in Heaven and lived worthily to uphold his priesthood duties which have helped me in so many of my health trials over these last several years. At the laying on of his worthy hands I have been given beautiful blessings to help me in my time of need and seen the Lord work his miracles on my behalf because of those gentle, loving and worthy hands. This has given me strength and always increases my faith in the Lord.

Now my daddy is kind of a quiet man especially compared to my mama. However when he speaks there’s usually importance or a message he’s getting out. Growing up we got lots of advice like, ‘You can live in the world, but not of the world’ or encouraging us to always do our very best in all that we do and that when we die we want to take our good name with us. As with most youth that advice isn’t always taken as seriously as it should be but looking back as an adult I’m glad it was given and it was retained and I’m happy I was able to put it to good use through the years and come to really appreciate it as an adult. I am so grateful to have always lived in a happy, loving and Christ centered home with rules and stability that helped to shape me and make me into the person I have become so far in my life. Thanks to my daddy for loving me unconditionally, teaching me to love and have faith and being the greatest example I could ever ask for.

Daddy Napping in Alaska